d100 Psycho Combat Dialogue Table

The Borderlands franchise has some of my favorite enemy dialogue in any video game. I stitched together a bunch of the dialogue lines for a thoroughly disturbing combat dialogue table. I personally have this printed out and taped to my GM screen for use during STAB CITY, as I've always sort of figured the residents of Puerto Muerto were pretty much just Borderland Psychos anyway.

1. I can still taste her lovely sweat-box, she fed me such tears of ecstasy.
2. Liar! I ripped out her bumpy tummy and her hot screams were for me!
3. NO! Mommy bled for us both! She bled for us both!
4. Another story to sing to the cages at home!
5. Come to me, my pasty cake!
6. I can't wait to take your picture!
7. I need another head for my merry-go-round - YOURS IS PERFECT!
8. I wonder if I plant you in the ground, if you'll grow taller?
9. I made finger pizza just for you!
10. I made you a salad, outta worms!
11. I'm... gonna choke and stroke your lifeless body!
12. I'm gonna floss my teeth... with your face!
13. I'm gonna make hammocks, from your eye lids!
14. I plucked a hair from the head of a dying baby! Let me give it to you!
15. It's inside me! IT'S INSIDE ME!
16. It's time for the meat puppet!
17. Lick and scream, and pee! I'm COMING to make you teeth!!!
18. Let's agree to disagree!
19. Look into my eyes when I stare at you!
20. Look at me when I'm charging at you!
21. Mommy dearest was the clearest until she lost her bearing, now she's rusted, and is busted, and out of sight and hearing!
22. The meat puppies, they come to the slaughter, like children to an ice cream truck!
23. They told me to bring a pail lunch... you look pale enough to me!!
24. This is prison and we're the guys in the shower!
25. Wear your face like a condom!
26. What does it all mean!?
27. Will you marrow me?
28. You smell like my little girl!
29. You're a feast of eyes and piss in all this bliss!
30. Organic or bust!
31. My mommy's gonna be so mad!
32. You're gonna be my new meat bicycle!
33. My mom looked at me that way, too!
34. Mom always said to be through...
35. Here it comes, big boy!
36. Why will no one play with me?!
37. I'm the one who knocks!
38. Foreskin hats for my puppets!
39. Another slave (laughter) to feed me!
40. (laughter) For France!
41. You can't kill me! I'm already dead tomorrow!
42. STOP LOOKING AT ME!
43. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!
44. NO NEED TO SHOUT!
45. Another walking meat puppet!
46. I can see Uranus from here! Hahahahaha!
47. Get ready for bad touch!
48. A flower? For meeee?
49. Drop-kick your babies!
50. I AM IMMORTAL!
51. I like my victims like I like my coffee... in the butt!
52. Unforgivable! UNFORGIVABLE!
53. You sat in my swing! NOW I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!!
54. It's meat puppet master theater!
55. I can hear with my teeth!
56. SEEEEEEMEEENNNN!!
57. French me, mommy!
58. I wanna play! Just play with me!
59. (laughter) It's time! (laughter) for a good old fashioned slap and crap!
60. I'll never stop, until they flop!
61. The sweet songs of sausage stumps will fill my days!
62. Just a drop! On my tongue!
63. Slurp it! Drink it! Eat it! (sniff) Smell it!
64. I'll feed your skin snacks to my cockatiel!
65. Slap the Pancakes!!
66. Start the clock! I'm going to count every minute I get with you...
67. Oh God, oh God!
68. ENDOOORPHINS!
69. EXTREME!
70. Ohh, spankings!
71. Feels good, man!
72. Don't run away! I need your face!
73. Unleash the orgasm!
74. Time for a sleepover!
75. Bad friend! Such a bad friend!
76. Mommy's not home! I can find another animal to skin!
77. I can't wait to cuddle with his corpse!
78. Weakness leads to deathness! Hahahaha!
79. YOLO!
80. ​I can see foreverrrr!
81. I've changed... I'VE CHANGED!
82. I regret nothing!
83. I regret everything!
84. Welcome to die!
85. Let's make face gravy!
86. Get ready to feel my fingers in your eyeballs!
87. You're going to be screaming!
88. Try breathing through crushed lungs!
89. I'll crack your skull open with my thumbs!
90. Get on your god damn knees!
91. Ever been strangled with your own intestines?!
92. You better GOD DAMN scream for me!
93. I'm gonna gouge your eyes out!
94. Die for me, bitch!
95. Murdering you is gonna feel so RIGHT!
96. Mother FUUUUUUAAAAHHHH!
97. I'm going to rip you a THIRD ASSHOLE!
98. Die midget lover!
99. Dibs on their scalps!
100. TORA! TORA! TORA!